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Begin Again

We are at the cusp of a new year, and it's a full moon tonight. This first full moon of the new year is such a good time to assess the fullness and brilliance of our lives. Be grateful. Nature is supporting our efforts as such, right now.

Tomorrow, as the moon begins to wane again, we are called to shift our attention inward. Rather than a resolution for the new year, we are called to commit to dissolution. Rather than committing to doing something, commit to letting go of something. I’d like to give thanks and credit to Len Niehoff’s sermon on New year’s Day at Suttons Bay Congregational Church. It really hit home: Dissolution.

For decades I have been pondering laya yoga from the teachings of Kashmir Shaivism. This is an ancient treatise outlining the process of Spirit coming into material being, in human form. The process reverses as life wanes. Thus comes the Ultimate letting go, the process of reversal and dissolution– letting go of life itself. We come into being and then, we have to let go in order to dissolve back to the Source.

Well, "pondering" is way more removed than experiencing.

If not for the swift action of my husband, the EMT team and the incredible neurosurgeon who performed the emergency thrombectomy to remove a blood clot from my right brain, I would not be writing these words. Having a stroke has given me a stroke of brilliant awareness. I am so, so lucky, for I have received a second chance.

Going forward, I wonder not, “Why Me?” but rather,“Why This?” What am I supposed to do with this?

“Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

–Mary Oliver

This experience, this brush with death, has slapped me up and insisted that I just stop. What I plan to do is to not plan. And more importantly, not do.

I’ll awake and breathe into each day as if it may be my last. I’ll take rest. I’ll give myself my time and attention, the only true and honest things I have to give. I’ll lie down each night thankful for this precious gift of life, and those who saved me.

Soon this website will come down, as I won’t be teaching. We’ll stay in touch. My blogs will keep coming, now and then. And I’d love to hear from you.

With a deep bow, I acknowledge you, my students, friends and yoga family, as you have taught me how to teach. You are brilliant in this full moon light.

Namaste and love,


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